Saturday, April 02, 2005

Opening Day

Tomorrow is Opening Day

It's the Yankees and the Red Sox. Hate them both, especially the fans - Red Sox fans moreso because they're commies.

Think that's mean? Well, I seem to remember the Red Sox calling the Yankees brass an "Evil Empire" because they spent a lot of money and won a lot. The Red Sox also spend a lot of money (their $130 million payroll is twice that of the Rockies') and win less often, though they did last year. At least now they can stop whining about their curse. I'm sure all those family members of Kurds' killed in Iraq by Saddam loved hearing about how tragic the Red Sox tale was. I hope they go another 86 years without winning one.

I dunno. Upset that group A is spending more than you, even though you're bigger than everyone else EXCEPT group A? (USSR, $130 million payroll) Want rules that will only hurt Group A and not you? (Luxury tax) Lose most battles but are able to win some? (Sputnik, 2004 World Series). I'd love to use John Hawkins' definition of projection in terms of the Red Sox calling the Yankees an Evil Empire like Reagan did the Soviet Union. (I hate you becomes you hate me, I'm an evil empire becomes YOU'RE an evil empire), et cetera.

The Yankees are the Capitalists and the Red Sox are the jealous commies. Who do you think I'm rooting for on opening day?

That's right - the Rockies. Just because I can. XP

Post Script: I am truly sorry that everyone in OddyBobo's city must suffer through another season of Lloyd McClendon (and Bill Cowher for that matter)

Post Post Script: I am predicting the following for the 2005 season:
AL East: New York
Al Central: Cleveland
Al West: Anaheim (Sorry, Los Angeles)
Al Wild Card: Red Sox
ALCS: New York over Boston (it's going to be one of these two f*cking teams EVERY F*CKING YEAR until 2011)
NL East: Philadelphia (I was the only person I knew who picked the Braves to win it again last year - no sporting magazine I bought did. I just had the feeling they would make the naysayers eat crow. I don't get the feeling this year)
NL Central: Houston
NL West: Los Angeles (Not Anaheim)
NL Wild Card: Atlanta
NLCS: Los Angeles over Atlanta
World Series: New York over Atlanta

To All You Cubs Fans: No. It's not happening. Go home.

To All You Like-Minded Rockies Fans: No. It's Also Not Happening.